The Infurstellar Galaxy
Welcome, traveler, to the Infurstellar Galaxy, a corner of the cosmos populated by ambitious dogs, industrious mice, opinionated cats, and enough questionable technology to make interstellar insurance prohibitively expensive. From the towering cities of Canis Majoris to the neon glow of Felinia Prime, every world has its own history, culture, and peculiar definition of “civilized.” Whether you're planning a vacation, conducting important galactic business, or simply took a wrong turn somewhere around Sirius, consider this your guide to a few of the worlds, landmarks, and suspiciously avoidable hazards you may encounter along the way.
Canis Majoris
Welcome to Canis Majoris, homeworld of the dogs and proud headquarters of the Canine Armada. Look skyward and you'll find much of the planet's traffic moving above you, where towering cityscapes stretch toward floating docks crowded with shuttles, freighters, and the occasional Hydrant-class starship. Armada Headquarters dominates the capital, surrounded by a forest of skyscrapers where military officers, merchants, civil servants, and ordinary citizens go about the important business of keeping canine civilization reasonably organized.
Canis Majoris is a world built on loyalty, duty, and the deeply held belief that nearly every problem can be solved with sufficient enthusiasm and a properly filed report. Visitors are welcome throughout most civilian districts, though wandering into restricted Armada facilities is strongly discouraged.
Traveler's Tip: Parking near Armada Headquarters without authorization may result in towing, fines, or an extremely disappointed-looking officer.
Rodentia Prime
Welcome to Rodentia Prime, industrious homeworld of the mice, where ingenuity, commerce, and cheese have been elevated from everyday necessities to pillars of civilization. Much of the planet is a rugged landscape of broad plains, forests, lakes, and northern mountain ranges capped with snow, but nearly every road eventually seems to point toward Squeakum, the enormous circular capital at the heart of Rodentian society.
Squeakum was built outward in great concentric rings, and where you live can say almost as much about you as what you do. The prosperous inner districts surround the center of government and old wealth, followed by a bustling commercial ring of offices, markets, banks, and corporate headquarters. Beyond them lies a broad greenbelt of parks and carefully maintained hedges before the city gives way to its sprawling outer industrial districts, where factories, warehouses, workshops, and working neighborhoods keep Rodentia's economic machinery squeaking along.
Rodentians pride themselves on invention and enterprise, and few places in the galaxy can turn a clever idea into a profitable industry quite as quickly. Visitors are encouraged to explore the markets, sample the local cheeses, and remember that in Squeakum, almost everything has a price.
Traveler's Tip: If a mouse approaches you with an exciting investment opportunity involving cheese, ask to see the paperwork first.
Felinia Prime
Welcome to Felinia Prime, homeworld of the cats and a planet where the definition of “progress” depends heavily on which side of the mountains you happen to be standing. Stretching across the planet are the imposing Maine Coon Mountains, a natural divide between two regions that share a world, a species, and very little agreement about how either should be managed.
To the north lies Chromehaven, a sprawling technological metropolis of illuminated towers, automated transit, experimental industries, and inventions that occasionally work exactly as intended. Northern Felinia has built its reputation on innovation, engineering, and an almost competitive enthusiasm for whatever comes next. After dark, Chromehaven's streets glow with neon signs, crowded markets, workshops, and establishments like The Neon Paw, where travelers can find a drink, local gossip, and possibly someone willing to repair an unauthorized modification to their spacecraft.
South of the mountains, Felinia changes dramatically. Cities give way to farmland, winding roads, small villages, and old homes built from timber, plaster, stone, and whatever else happened to be nearby when construction began. Life here moves more slowly and traditions have considerably deeper roots. Local communities take great pride in their independence, their gardens, their neighbors' gardens, and maintaining extremely detailed opinions about what those gardens are permitted to contain.
Traveler's Tip: When visiting southern Felinia, admire the moonflowers. Do not ask whether they're HOA-approved.
Purradia
Welcome to Purradia, the galaxy's premier vacation world and a planet where doing absolutely nothing has been refined into something approaching an art form. Warm oceans surround chains of tropical islands, turquoise lagoons, white-sand beaches, dense forests, and mountain peaks where waterfalls tumble toward the sea.
Relaxation is serious business here. Visitors can soak in Purradia's famous cheese relaxation pools, sail between islands, sample its many dinner establishments, or head to the sports complex for everything from athletics to kung-fu. Those seeking a more ambitious cultural experience may simply locate a comfortable chair and refuse to move.
No visit is complete without a stop at Skewps, Purradia's fashionable and decidedly unconventional ice cream parlor, where unusual flavors and elaborate creations have made it a destination of its own.
Whether you're here for beaches, food, cheese pools, kung-fu, or a long-overdue scoop of ice cream, Purradia has something for everyone.
Traveler's Tip: Any worries discovered in your luggage may be confiscated and replaced with a tiny drink containing an unreasonable amount of fruit.
The Ghost Orchard
Welcome to the Ghost Orchard, a vast thicket of ancient obsidian trees drifting silently through the void between worlds. Their enormous trunks twist together into dense forests while tangled root systems stretch for miles through open space, leaving countless hollows, passages, and shadowed pockets between them. Navigation is difficult, sensors are unreliable, and visibility can disappear remarkably quickly beneath the Orchard's dark, faintly iridescent canopy.
All of which makes the Ghost Orchard an excellent place to hide. Ships have been known to disappear among its roots for days without detection, though travelers should remember that finding your way in is considerably easier than finding your way back out.
Should something unfortunate happen to your vessel, keep an eye out for the Ravager insurance salesmen who frequent the region. They offer an impressive assortment of warranties and protection plans, several of which may even cover the thing that just happened to you.
Traveler's Tip: If a Ravager tells you the extended warranty is “completely comprehensive,” ask what the word comprehensive means on their homeworld.
END OF THE TOUR. NOT THE GALAXY.
You've reached the end of our officially approved tour, but the Infurstellar Galaxy is considerably larger than this guide, and considerably less well documented. New worlds, strange destinations, and questionable civilizations await beyond the next star.
Until then, travel safely, keep your engines running, and never accept cheese from an unlicensed distributor.